


Rest Your Bones With Me

by kookiebias8121



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:34:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookiebias8121/pseuds/kookiebias8121
Summary: Hongjoong gets tragic news from his family while rehearsing for KCON Thailand. After lashing out at the group and blaming himself, his boyfriend Seonghwa is the only one who can help him get through the dark and into the light.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 164





	Rest Your Bones With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! I'm alive!! I have gotten way way too deep into the ATEEZ hole and I don't think I'm ever going to get out. Seongjoong is my favourite ship and hurt/comfort is my favourite genre so here is some self-indulgent fanfiction for you all. I never imagined it would be this long but I hope you enjoy!

Seonghwa could hear the beginnings of a fight. The signs were always so clear, as rare as the fights were. Someone wold say something in jest, and if the other wasn't in the mood, things could easily spiral. It was just the nature of their work as well, all of them being so over-tired, one small thing could easily turn into an argument with a lack of sleep and caffeine. 

This morning in particular they had been getting ready for their rehearsal for their performance at a KCON in Thailand tomorrow night. They had all been working exceptional hard to give the best performance, but no one as hard as Hongjoong. He had been given the opportunity to open the show with a solo stage - his first of his career - and he had been over the moon. But this morning, something had just seemed off. 

Seonghwa had noticed it as soon as he had woken up. Hongjoong and him were sharing a hotel room and usually when they woke up they would talk a bit about the plans for the day, about how Hongjoong had barely slept, and about how Seonghwa hated when Hongjoong left his clothes lying around the dirty hotel room floor. Instead, when Seonghwa had woken up this morning, his boyfriend was already and showered and out for the day. He was left with a small text telling him that he had gone to grab breakfast early and a quick sorry for leaving him alone. 

If he hadn't already started to worry then, he was now. Wooyoung and San were looking like they were ready to argue with the leader in their small green room not ten minutes before dress rehearsals and Seonghwa wasn't sure what to do. Wooyoung and San had come into the rehearsal room after Hongjoong's solo rehearsal joking about how Hongjoong never got any sleep and was in the studio too much. 

To be perfectly honest, Seonghwa was surprised why that would have been a trigger to Hongjoong as they had always made those kind of commets around him. Even the fans knew it was a running concern that Hongjoong was too dedicated to his craft. It had never seemed to bother Hongjoong until now. 

"Hyung, I wasn't trying to offend you. I was just saying that you seem tired and maybe you shouldn't be staying up so -"

"And when did you become my babysitter?"

"Oh my god hyung he wasn't - " 

"San stay out of this. I am having a conversation with Wooyoung."

"This is isn't much of a conversation…" Wooyoung muttered under his breath. Seonghwa audbily cleared his throat, giving Wooyoung warning eyes. It was clear Hongjoong alreayd wasn't in the mood, but sarcastic comments were only going to make it worse.

"Listen," Hongjoong said, raising his voice in an exasperated tone, "I don't need you, or any of you for that fact, telling me what I should or shouldn't do. If I wanna live in the studio I will live in the studio. Why do you care anyways? Just leave me alone."

"Joongie," Seonghwa came closer to his boyfriend, approaching wiht a gentle tone as he could see that Wooyoung's eyes were getting glassy and he didn't want this situation to extend any longer, "I think they were just joking around. It really isn't that serious, sometimes we just worry about your health is all." 

"Well I'm sorry that I work so hard for the group. God, you act like I'm being selfish-" 

"No one is calling you slefish" Jongho clarified from his position on the couch.

"Oh my god I just don't want to talk about this anymore. I get it. I'm a horrible person, a horrible leader, tired, unhelpful, holed up in my studio, just doing everything wrong." Hongjoong was yelling now as the stylists and makeup artists in the room tried to pretend they weren't eavesdropping. He made to walk out but Seonghwa made one last attempt to cool him down, grabbing him lightly by the arm. 

"Joongie, don't say that. No one is saying that." He spoke softly, not sure if the other boys even heard. Taking a glance around, he saw the looks of shock and hurt on their faces. Sure sometimes Hongjoong could have a temper but this seemed way out of proportion for the situation. Hongjoong hadn't been this angry and unrelenting in a long time. 

Hongjoong seemed to hear Seonghwa for a split second, eyes spacing out and filling with tears. Seonghwa's concern grew and he moved to continue to talk him down when suddenly something switched. Hongjoong's eyes hardened and he ripped his arm out of his boyfriend's hold. 

"Whatever. I'm just not in the mood for this."

Hongjoong left the room, in a huff, leaving the rest of the members dazed and confused. Slowly everyone turned to look at Seonghwa. They were asking him for an explanation but he had nothing. 

"What was that?" Yunho asked tentaively, hiding slightly behind San. 

"I-I've never seen him like that." Wooyoung spoke in a shaky voice. Seonghwa's motherly instincts kicked in, approaching Wooyoung, giving him a half hug. 

"It's not your fault ok. I think there's something else going on right now. Don't blame yourself for that, I'm sure he feels really bad that he took it out on you." He could feel Wooyoung's shy nods but the boy was still shaking slightly from the altercation. 

Seonghwa straightened up and took a deep breath, knowing he had to take this moment to act like the oldest member that he is. 

"Ok everyone just please continue to get ready and try to shake off this weird tension. I'll go find him and make sure he's ok. You know Joong, you know he's going to come in here apologizing profusely and feeling like a terrible leader. Please try to understand that he has a lot on his plate." He spoke to the group, but kept his eyes on San and Wooyoung who were nodding. He didn't want anyone badgering his boyfriend when he came back in, Seonghwa could tell this was something deeper and he wanted to make sure that the boys understood that too. 

As soon as the other members started to get their hair and makeup done Seonghwa shot his manager a look for permission to go find their leader. When his manager nodded in conceit, he speed walked into the hallway looking for Hongjoong. 

Due to the fact that he had to talk down the boys first, he picked up his pace not wanting Hongjoong to think that no one had followed him out. He had been acting weird since this morning and Seonghwa's worry was only growing as to what was wrong. 

When he found his boyfriend, he was sat against the wall in an empty hallway, knees up and his head down, cradled in his arms. 

Seonghwa stood for a moment, taking pause to look at how childlike Hongjoong looked. How fragile. He didn't want to startle him so he walked up rather slow and placed a gentle hand on his boyfriends shoulder, sitting next to him on the floor. Regardless of his efforts, Honjoong still startled a bit but his head never left the safety of his arms. 

"Joongie…" Seonghwa whispered, not wanting to violently break the silence of the moment. 

When Hongjoong didn't respond, Seonghwa's concern only grew. Seonghwa started to rub small, comforting circles on Hongjoong's shoulder, working his way down his back. He could feel the other slightly trembling. 

"Hongjoong-ah, love, what's wrong, hm?" He was speaking the same way he would to a small child. Kindness and caution was oozing out of his voice. 

He felt Hongjoong take a shaky breath and promptly shake his head. 

"Nothing." 

Seonghwa couldn't stop himself from letting out a scoff at Hongjoong's small defense. It clearly wasn't nothing. He immediately regretted it though as he felt Hongjoong slightly pull away. 

"Hey, baby no. Come on, you know you can tell me anything." Seonghwa shuffled even closer to his boyfriend, wrapping his arm around the other's slouched back. He began to run his hand through the back of his hair, slightly massaging the younger's scalp. 

When he got no response, Seonghwa moved to sit slightly in front of the younger, gently rubbing the other's crossed arms. 

"Please look at me love. Let me see your pretty face, hm?" 

Seonghwa could feel the hesitation in the tensing of Hongjoong's body but slowly he looked up into his boyfriend's eyes and Seonghwa could feel his own heart break at the sight. Hongjoong's eyes were bloodshot and tears were falling down his cheeks. He looked distraught and just so…sad.

"Oh my baby," Seonghwa sighed, moving impossibly closer and cradling the other against his chest. Surprisingly Hongjoong didn't fight the comfort and fell into the older's chest letting out a sigh of relief. 

"It's ok my love, whatever it is. I promise. It's ok. You can talk to me." Seonghwa whispered into the crown of Hongjoong's head, praying that the younger would open up. 

He heard Hongjoong mumble something into his sweater. "What was that love?" Seonghwa asked, moving away to look at his boyfriend. 

"My grandpa died." It was a tiny whisper, a short phrase, but Seonghwa could feel the tears spring to his own eyes. It was silent for a couple of beats. 

"W-when?" Seonghwa whispered, one arm still around his boyfriend and the other holding tightly onto the other's hand. 

"In the middle of the night last night. My phone rang, I thought it had woken you up but I guess it didn't. My parents told me and asked if I could go back home for the funeral but-" Hongjoong's voice broke, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked away and Seonghwa could feel the pain in his eyes. 

There comeback was too soon, they had been working so hard, and this performance for KCON was huge for them. Especially Hongjoong's solo. 

Seonghwa moved to cradle Hongjoong again, holding him close to his chest. Hongjoon wasn't sobbing or hyperventalating, no, his crying was the most painful. The quiet tears streaming down his face, the little whimpers and horribly tragic sounds from the back of his throat. Every breath stuttered and Seonghwa wished he cuold take his pain away. 

"I'm so sorry my love." And at that, Hongjoong broke. He began to sob into Seonghwa's chest, painful heaving of breaths and Seonghwa could do nothing but hold onto him and let him tire himself out. 

He whispered reassuring phrases into his boyfriend's hair, kissing the top of his head that smelled like the mint scented shampoo they both used. He rubbed Hongjoong's arms carefully and lovingly, feeling his every tremble against his body. He felt like he was holding the younger together and if he let go, he would collapse. 

Neither were sure just how much time had passed before Hongjoong was merely hiccuping, the sobs having died down. His hair that the stylist had worked on was disheveled and the tear tracks were drying all over his face, smudging his makeup. Seonghwa was trying to keep his own heartbeat steady knowing Hongjoong was listening and holding onto that stability to calm himself down. It's what they did when Hongjoong would have panic attacks during their trainee days. 

They were both snapped out of their silent trance by Seonghwa's phone buzzing. It was a text from Yunho.

Everything good? 

Seonghwa went to reply and realized, he didn't quite know how to. After letting out a small sigh, he looked down to his boyfeidn cradled in his chest. The younger had his eyes closed but his short breaths indicated he wasn't quite asleep. 

"Love." Seonghwa whispered, causing Hongjoong to pull away slightly and look up into his eyes. They screamed exhaustion. "I know this is a lot right now, but if you want, I can tell them so that when you go back into the room you don't have to say it again." 

Hongjoong let out a little sigh, leaning his head against Seonghwa's shoulder. He nodded, small and fragile, "Please." His voice was hoarse and Seonghwa's heart was breaking over and over again.

"Joong, you don't have to go back in there ok?" Seonghwa gently grabbed the youngers face, cradling it in his hand and rubbing his thumb along the younger's tear tracks. "If you need to go back to the hotel, we will go back to the hotel. Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

Hongjoong shook his head softly. Pulling his sweater up to cover his hands, he wiped at his own tears quickly and aggressively as Seonghwa ran a hand through the other's hair. 

"It's ok, I need to be here for the rehearsal and honestly, I don't think I really want to be in the hotel room right now. I-I just need a minute alone."

Seonghwa nodded softly, moving to get up but Hongjoong gripped onto his arm. "Thank you." He whispered, looking down in embarassment. Seonghwa put a finger on the younger's chin, forcing his eyes to looking into his own. 

"I love you."

Hongjoong sniffled. "I love you too" He whispered shakily. 

There was a beat of silence as they looked into each other's eyes. 

Seonghwa felt his phone buzz a couple more times but didn't pick it up to look. 

"Ok, how about I go in and get them up to date and whenevr you're ready you come in. But if you need antyhing or change your mind and want to leave, just call me. Don't feel like you have to be here or you're a bad leader if you're not here, everyone will understand." 

Hongjoong nodded as Seonghwa gave him a careful peck. He squeezed the younger's hand one last time and braced himself to walk back into the dressing room where the other members were probably waiting, anxious and confused. 

When Seonghwa walked in everyone looked up, pracitcally jumping out of their seats. Seonghwa could feel the hesitation and confusion when they all noticed that the leader wasn't with him. 

"Can I talk to the members in there please?" Seonghwa was still speaking soflty, his headspace still witih Hongjoong in the hallway and the carefulnessa dn fragility of that conversation. 

All the boys looked nervous as they followed Seonghwa into the room off to the side of their big dressing room. It looked like it was meant for storage but, having been emptied out, it was a small room with a door, about the size of a walk-in closet. Seonghwa figured he shouldn't share Hongjoong's news to staff or others in the room and that this would be better dealt with with just the members for now. 

As soon as Seonghwa closed the door behind the members, Wooyoung spoke up. 

"What's going on? Is Hongjoong hyung ok? Is he really mad? SHould I apologi-"

"Wooyoungie" Seonghwa cautioned, shutting the other up. The worry on all of their faces was evident and Seonghwa was just trying to find the right way to deliver this news. 

"Hyung please. What's going on?" Yunho spoke soflty, his hand grasping onto Seonghwa's sweater pleadingly. 

"Hongjoong's ok." Seonghwa took a breath as the other boys waited for the other shoe to drop. "Last night he got a call from him parents and found out his grandpa passed away." There was a couple gasps in the room.

"Oh my god" San muttered, grabbing onto Wooyoung's arm for comfort. 

"Th-they asked him to go back home for the funeral but-"

"He can't" Jongho completed his sentence, looking defeated and sympathetic. 

Seonghwa nodded, again feeling his own eyes well up with tears. He knew how close his boyfriend was with his grandpa, they all did. His grandpa was a music composer in his own time and Hongjoong had learned a lot from him. He had been his mentor and the reaosn why Hongjoong was here today. 

Seonghwa suddenly looked up at Wooyoung, grabbing onto the youngers hand comfortingly. 

"I think that's why he was so angry this morning. I think he's blaming himself for not being able to spend more time with his grandpa and not being able togo back home. Working and not spending time with loved ones is a sensitive topic right now." 

Understanding lit up Wooyoung's eyes as he loked down, ashamed. "I feel awful, I really didn't mean to hurt him." He spoke softly, guiltily. 

Seonghwa gave the younger's hand a squeeze, "Hey hey hey. No, he doesn't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself either. You had no idea. The same way we know it's not his fault that he couldn't go home, you should know that he knows this isn't your fault either." 

Wooyoung nodded, looking up into the eldest's eyes. 

Seonghwa gave him one final squeeze of his hand before letting go and looking up at the rest of the members. 

"So…is he coming back?" Yeosang, who hadn't spoken the entire conversation, asked hesitantly, sadness shining in his eyes.

"I think so?" Seonghwa took a deep breath, looking at the clock in the small room. They had 10 minutes until their rehearsal was to begin. "Honestly, I don't know Sangie. He said he would but…he's not in a good place right now." Seonghwa felt a lump in his throat and felt San's hand come up to his shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze. 

There was a knock on the door and when Seonghwa opened it he saw the face of his manager. He looked calm and collected but there was a sadness behind his eyes. He knew. 

When Seonghwa looked past him, he saw Hongjoong standing hesitantly, fidgeting with his fingers. 

"We have ten minutes." His manager spoke softly, "I'm sorry." 

Seonghwa nodded, "Thank you." Their manager walked away and Seonghwa could feel the rest of the members hesitating to leave the small room. 

Seonghwa walked out first, rushing over to his boyfriend and giving him a hug from behind. "They know." He whispered into the younger's ear as he felt Hongjoong lift his arms and give Seonghwa's arms a squeeze. 

"Thanks." 

"Hyung…" Wooyoung spoke hesitantly, taking small steps out of the room towards the leader. 

Seonghwa slowly let go of Hongjoong as the leader opened his arms to Wooyoung. Wooyoung visibly slouched in relief, rushing over the leader and burying his head in his chest, hugging him tightly. 

Hongjoong had his arms around him, his head resting on top of the youngers. Seonghwa let himself smile looking at his two members hugging. 

"I'm so so so sorry." Wooyoung exclaimed from his place burried in Hongjoong's sweater, emotion evident in his voice. 

Hongjoong looked more pulled together then a couple minutes ago in the hallway and Seonghwa could see he was trying his hardest to hold it together for the sake of the team. Seonghwa felt a mix of pride and guilt rise in his chest looking at his boyfriend. He always sacrificed so much. 

"No Wooyoungie. It's not your fault at all, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." Hongjoong gave the younger one last squeeze before pulling away. Wooyoung didn't wantto leave the leader's embrace, sticking to his side and keepingone of Hongjoong's arms around his shoulders, his own arms around the older's waist. He leaned his head on his shoulder. 

"I didn't mean to snap at any of you. Really. I just- you know…" He looked up at Seonghwa, questioning with his eyes. Seonghwa nodded curtly, confirming that he had told the members about what happened. Hongjoong felt a wave of relief. 

"I'm just not myself right now." Hongjoong spoke softly, looking up at the members. Seonghwa grabbed the leader's free hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry."

"Hyung, you don't have to apologize." Mingi spoke up, approaching the leader. This seemed to trigger something in the rest of the members as they all walked over, engulfing the leader in a group hug. Hongjoong could feel the warmth around him, trying even harder to hold himself together and Seonghwa felt him tense up. 

"Ok guys we have five minutes at this point so please just try to get some eenrgy back and lets have a smooth rehearsal so as to not cause our leader any more stress. Yes?" Seonghwa looked around as everyone began to pull back from Hongjoong. 

Everyone nodded along as Yeosang walked over, startling Seonghwa as he gave him a quick hug. Seonghwa shouldn't be the one to be receiving comfort in this moment but the gesture made him realize how much his Hongjoong's sadness could take him over. He was hurting so much for him and Yeosang could feel that. He could always feel what the memebrs were feeling. 

Seonghwa squeezed him back, short and quick, but the moment let Seonghwa let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.

As the members began to disperse, not without sending one last empathetic look at their leader, Seonghwa realized Hongjoong's hand was still in his own. He gave it a little squeeze, intertwining their fingers. He was suddenly very thankful that he had volunteered to get styled first as he was already ready for the rehearsals. 

Hongjoong seemed like he was in a bit of a daze, probably emotionally and physically exhausted. 

"I'm right here with you love. Why don't we go over to fix your makeup and hair, hm? I won't let go." 

Hongjoong seemed to snap out of his daze, nodding shyly. 

They got through their rehearsals in one piece, although they had ended up being 10 minutes late. Luckily for them the group before them had had some technical issues and had ended up running late anyways. After running through the group number, Hongjoong had had to rehearse his solo performance. While the other memebrs made their way to the dressing room to get our of their stage costumes, Seonghwa stayed back and helped Hongjoong get through it. 

Seonghwa could tell that a panic attack was coming, it was in Hongjoong's dazed out eyes and his shaking hands. He could tell the leader was holding himself back and shoving it all down. Before he went on to the stage Seonghwa gave him one last squeeze of his hand, bringing it up and holding it against his own chest. A quiet sign midst the chaos of the staff backstage that he has an anchor. He has someone to lean on. Seonghwa was his for as long as he needed him. 

Hongjoong gave him a tight smile, trying his best to show just how thankful he really was. Seonghwa has to be honest, it wasn't Hongjoong's best rehearsal but the fact that he made it through was enough. There was silence between them as they got to the car that was to take them back to the hotel. Since the other boys had already made their way back, it was only the two of them and their manager who was driving. 

It was a comfortable silence, one that Hongjoong probably needed more than he could admit. Their hands never left their interlocked position and Seonghwa could feel Hongjoong trying to keep his breaths stable and steady. Seonghwa was keeping a steady pace of rubbing his thumb back on forth on Hongjoong's hand, trying to give him a constant that he could fix his mind on. 

"None of this is your fault." They were 2 minutes away from the hotel, but Seonghwa couldn't hold it in any longer. 

Hongjoong tensed, staring straight ahead. 

Seonghwa turned to face Hongjoong as best as he could, "Joongie, I promise you, there was nothing you could have done. I know it's hard, but I can feel you blaming yourself and you had no control over any of this."

Hongjoong eyes were shining as they kept staring forward. The only indication that Seonghwa had that Hongjoong had heard him was the little squeeze the younger gave to his hand. That was enough. 

***

When they got back to the dorm, Wooyoung and San were say in their sweatpants and sweaters watching a show in the living room. The other boys were in their rooms and Seonghwa could hear the shower running. 

Just as Seonghwa was going to turn back to Hongjoong, who was still taking his shoes off at the front door, to gently pull him into their shared room, Hongjoong's phone began to ring. The younger messily took off his shoes as he reached for his phone, looking at the caller ID. Seonghwa caught a flash of panic in his boyfriend's eyes as they made quick eye contact. Hongjoong quickly answered the phone, quickly making his way to their room. When Seonghwa made to follow him, Hongjoong held his hand up gently, asking for privacy. Seonghwa stopped in his tracks and watched as his boyfriend greeted who he could only assume was his mother as he closed the door to their room behind him. 

Seonghwa sighed, turning around to see Wooyoung and San staring up at him from the couch in concern, the show that was playing in the background completely forgotten. 

Seonghwa gave them what he hoped was a comforting, small smile as he walked towards the couch and sunk into it next to Wooyoung. Immediately the two boys shifted to face their oldest hyung. 

"Hyung, is there anything we can do?" San whispered from his spot behind Wooyoung. Wooyoung reached out and grabbed Seonghwa's arm, giving him a comforting squeeze.

Seonghwa sighed again. He placed a hand on both of their knees, "He's going to be okay. Don't stress yourselves out, sometimes there is nothing you can do other than be here for him if and when he needs you."

The two younger boys nodded innocently, eyes wide and filled with worry. Wooyoung took one glance at the closed door to Seonghwa and Hongjoong's room, they could hear Hongjong's soft voice speakinginto the phone but couldn't quite make out the words that he was saying. 

"D-did you want to watch with us?" Wooyoung asked cautiously, motioning towars the TV. 

"Yeah. I'd like that." Seonghwa gave the younger a warm smile, settling in and letting Wooyoung lean into him. Putting his arm around the younger, he could feel San lean his head on Wooyoung's shoulder. 

The three of them sat there watching an episode of San's favourite show although Seonghwa had a bit of trouble following the plot. Every once in a while his thoughts would float to the boy behind the door, wondering how this phone call was taking so long. Praying there was no more bad news. Wishing that Hongjoong could be home and be with his family. 

Seonghwa checked his phone after a while, careful not to tostle Wooyoung who had fallen asleep. It had been an hour since Hongjoong had gone into the room and Seonghwa hadn't heard anything from the other side of the door for a little while. Carefully moving out of his position on the couch, Seonghwa made eye contact with San and they both gently lead Wooyoung to lean on San's shoulder. 

"Good luck hyung. Let us know if you need anything." San whispered. Seonghwa smiled at him, tousling his hair. "Thank you Sanie. Don't be too worried, okay? You know Hongjoong, you know how strong he is." He didn't know who is words were more comforting for, himself or San but San let out a small sigh before shifting his attention back to the TV and starting a new episode. 

Seonghwa carefully made his way to their shared room, giving a small knock in case Hongjoong still needed his privacy. He didn't want to startle the younger. 

When he got no reply he decided to slowly enter into the room. Once he opened the door he realized the lights were off and Hongjoong was laying in a bundle of blankets in Seonghwa's bed rather than his own. The room was eerily quiet and the air was immediately heavy as Seonghwa approached his tiny boyfriend. 

He climbed up to his top bunk and gently placed a hand on the lump of blankets where he assumed Hongjoong's shoulder would be. He felt the younger jump slightly. 

Seonghwa moved his hand to what felt like Hongjoong's back, rubbing it up and down comfortingly. Seonghwa felt his heart burning with concern and guilt - it seemed like Hongjoong had already been crying for a bit as he was now down to sniffles and hiccups. The older sighed as he got closer to his boyfriend, taking in his blanket covered frame into his arms and rubbing the younger's arms comfortingly. 

After a few more moments of silence, nothing but the sound of Hongjoong's small sniffles, the younger made a move to remove the blanket from his head. His face was tear-streaked, the tears drying on his cheeks. HIs hair was messy from the blanket and he looked utterly exhausted. 

"Joongie…" Seonghwa spoke softly, treading carefully. 

Hongjoong sniffled, "It's fine. Th-they didn't say much else…it's just…" Hongjoong took a deep, shaky breath and Seonghwa tightened his hold on the younger, bringing him closer to his chest. 

"Take your time love. I'm here." Seonghwa whispered into the younger's hair. 

After a few more shaky breaths, Hongjoong continued. "M-my dad got on the phone and h-he asked me if I was sure that I couldn't come home for the funeral. I was so frustrated with everything and I-I kind of snapped. I don't even know what I was yelling about but at the end of it I calmed down and apologized, I just feel awful. It's like…they are already going through all this stress and I'm just adding to it but I'm just…so…angry and…I don't know just…sad." 

Hongjoong was looking down, blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall. Seonghwa ran a gentle hand through the younger's hair, "Baby…my sweet, sweet baby. I know, I'm so sorry. You're such a hard worker and you are an incredible leader and friend and boyfriend and sometimes there are things that are out of our control. Sometimes things…they just suck. They have to suck for a bit before they can get better. I am sure that your parents don't blame you at all and they understand that you are grieving as well."

Hongjoong was so still that Seonghwa questioned whether the younger had even heard him but then he felt him nodding slowly against his chest and he knew at least his words had sunk in a little. 

"Why don't you wait the night and then call your parents again tomorrow and I'm sure you will have a much better conversation. For now, love, you need to take care of yourself. I'm here with you ok? We all are. Just let me help you." 

Another small nod was all Seonghwa needed and he laid down, gently pulling the younger down so that his head was on Seonghwa's chest and their legs were entangled. Seonghwa gave him a small kiss before wrapping him up tightly in his arms and drawing patterns softly on his back, the other hand running through the younger's hair. 

After a while of just silence and heavy breathing, Seonghwa thought the younger was asleep until he heard the tiny whisper.

"Thank you." 

"Always Joongie. I'm always right here." 

"I love you."

Seonghwa kissed the crown of Hongjoong's head, smelling again the familiar mint and feeling at home. 

"I love you more."


End file.
